A lot of Things Different

So here I am, half asleep and rocking out to some Kenny Chesney - A Lot of Things Different. It got me to thinking, what would I have done different. Now I'm not going to spill all the guts for ya. Just something for me to think about. Would I still be in the military? Would I still have the firends that I have? Would I be just a lil ol' me sitting alone in this here ol' house?

Well I know I'm stonger from have to go through what I have. But I can't help to think that I've cut people out of my life. Maybe I just don't like people get close. Is that just as bad?

well I just got back from the ER...

I want sleep.

So I spent the last 30 min or so just laying in my bed. Not doing anything and NOT falling asleep. That sucked. I got to wake up early, so I tried to go to sleep early. But it doesn't look like that is going to happen. SO here I am. Typing away. Blah.

oh well...

And now my wrist hurts.

So I went to pick my cat off of my mom's bed. Then it happened. The dumb rat-dog barked at my cat. This is a big ol' black cat. Who, when he got barked at, tried to cut MY wrist with HIS claw. Yeah, it's a bitch.

Other than that it is kind of boring here. Don't get me wrong, I like being able to just sit down and do nothing. It just seems like that is all I've been doing. Ok, so I did install the one mini blind that has been sitting around for about 3 weeks in my kitchen window.

It is kind of funny how hard it can be to just call someone. It's been awhile since I've heard from her. So I though why not just call. But do it? Nope. Don't know why. I guess I don't want to bug her. Well shit don't we all need a lil buggin sometimes? So does that mean I'm answering my own questions.....what a 'tard :)

I think I might try doing some editing to this lay out tonight. It's that or play a computer game. Damn, I still got to call the cable guy. Holy cow. I got over 120 hours of MP3s on my computer.

well that's enough bitching for tonight.

Family

I'm not to sure when it happened. I can't really point out a time. I just don't like family. I don't know if it's just mine or what. I'm just not much of a family guy. Maybe that will change when I get my own family. But the one I got now is just...eh. I'm sure every family has problems: mental, physical, and financial.

Maybe I, don't know, try to hard to not be like them. Just watch, I'll end up doing just what they do. I'll be the father that is always at work or it'll be the mom that stays in her room for a few years as she jumps off the deep end. YaY family. I can bitch about aunts that steal from family, but no need to go there. I just need to be farther then 30 feet away from them.

I worked with a guy that had a 3 state rule. Back east, so the states are smaller than out west. That was just far enough that family couldn't stop by that often, but close enough that he could drive there in case soemthing happened. I told my mom that is what my plan is. I'll go where ever I go. If I stay in Cali, great. If I move back east, well so be it.

Now I got some time

So lets see what all I can type up now. Just to let y'all know, this is going to be a mess of my thoughts and a bunch of what-nots.

Damn I throw a lot of shit away. Half eaten bags of chips, chex mix, I think I'll save the catsup...ahem...Ketchup. Oh hey, I need to put my clothes in the dryer.

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.

that would be a bad one to have. Hum wonder what else I am going to end up blogging about here.

Verbophobia- Fear of words. There we go. Now we're talking.

http://phobialist.com/ There look for your self.

Oh yeah. I watched Frearless. It was a good movie, though I'm a big fan of having to read movies. It was a lot better than Hero. Blah, just didn't like that one.

I think I'll end this mess of a blog here and see what I can come up with later tonight.

It's 12:30ish

Do you know where your kids are...

But really. I'm going to Sonic in my PJs still. wo0tzor.

More on this later.

So I got myself some stuff

After work I headed on over to Bestbuy. There was a new computer game that I wanted to get. One of the first games that I got my self in a long time. Hell, one of the first times I went out to buy something just because. Well the game didn't work, so I have to take it back to the store and get a new one tomorrow.

Well at least it's going to be Friday. That's always good. Would be better to be payday too, but I'll live.

Damn I'm not the blogger I used to be. Maybe I just need more darma in my life....Nah!

Oh I did go bownling the other day. With some friends. Yeah, it was a blast. I got a 113, since I know that's what y'all were wanting to know. But anyways, maybe I'll blog more on this tomorrow.

It's fucking late.

Tonight is another night that I didn't get home till late. Well 11ish pm. You might ask your self why the heck I'm still awake. well that would be a good question to ask. I am burning a CD so I got some music in the morning at work.

well I'm off to get my...maybe 6 hours of sleep.

Boat racing

I just got back from a weekend of Drag boat racing. It takes up my whole weekend, but it is mucho fun. The free food and place to stay doesn't hurt anything. The racing takes place on Lake Ming, it's a small small lake. I left Friday after work and didn't get back till 7ish Sunday. Also added about 300 miles to my car, and that is why I drive a Saturn. That thing is going to have a balizzlion miles on it by the time I'm done.

Lets see...I guess that's it.

Tonight was a first

I got kicked out of my math test tonight. The teacher said I couldn't take the test. Well I did drop the class, but I think I should still be able to take the test. So I spent the money on the scantron and what-not for nada. Oh well. It wasn't that much money.

Other than that, not a whole lot going on. Had dinner with a good friend of mine. She's moving, aww sad. But I'm sure we will stay in contact. 'Cause I'm cool like that. Boat racing this weekend, damn so I got to make sure I get all my stuff together tonight.

what fun.

New look

Ok, So I think this is going to be my new look. It aint done, just something I need to work on still.

Soon I'll get it the way I like it.

YaY for quizzes

Dionysus 0% Extroversion, 13% Intuition, 55% Emotiveness, 57% Perceptiveness

Although deeply emotional, you are extremely lacking in self-knowledge. You are somewhat needy, and when bored, may become very hedonistic. Your life is a quest for meaning, above all else. You are most like Dionysus. You are primarily interested in serving others, but your efforts are almost always unappreciated. You aren't confrontational, you're often out of tune with your own needs and unaware of the consequences of your own actions. You are, at heart, a good person. You are very affectionate, and you are very loyal to your friends and family. You are very reluctant to burden others with your own problems, to the point that this in itself can become a problem for the people who care about you. This is a particular of a more general problem. Dionysus sends wave of ruin throughout his personal life. He is the photographer who seduces his subjects. He is the teacher who seduces a student. He is the art student who paints nonrepresentational splashes of color, he is the poet who rejects meter and content. You seek sexual partners more than anything else (this is to exploit the nurturing side of others to help fill your own void). If not sexual partners, this desire to become the object of sympathy with other people can manifest itself in other destructive ways. Stinkfist by Tool explains your condition pretty well. It's very likely that you haven't had many experienced mentors. You don't want them either, because you're the sort of person who rejects criticism and boundaries, but they're also your only hope for reaching any kind of emotional maturity. Famous People Like You: John Lennon, Mick Jagger, Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Hugh Hefner I'd tell you to stay clear of Hermes, Icarus and Apollo, but you could probably learn something from them. You're least likely to hurt The Oracle, Atlas, Prometheus, and Daedalus, but Atlas and Daedalus won't like you very much. Seek out: The Oracle, Prometheus

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion You scored higher than 99% on Intuition You scored higher than 99% on Emotiveness You scored higher than 99% on Perceptiveness

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

One year

That's right boys and girls. I have been blogging for over a year now. That's kind of insane. I never would have thought that I'd still be doing this. I have posted good times and even the dark bad times that no one wants to talk about. Ok, so I haven't posted ALL the bad times, no one wants to know all of them. I can say that blogging here has help me.

Well here's to another great year!

Lets see

So it's been awhile since the last time that I sat down and really blogged about what was on my mind. I guess now is as good of a time as any to do it. Lets see where I end up tonight..

I went to the Fresno state game last night. That was fun. I talked to a friend of mine and we plan on getting season tickets next season. Doesn't really matter where they are, as long as they are on the end of a row. Humm....I'm going to take a look and see how much they are. About $160 each. Not to bad.

I'm still talking to that said chica, though it's slow going. Going none the less. I even asked her to the football game, but she had family coming into town. Can't really fight that, can I? So we just chatted some. On yahoo, cause we're both big ol geeks and sometimes it's just easier to IM.

I also spent a few hours working on my closet. Now I just need hangers for my clothes and I'd be set. I got a TV and my table out of storage. Next would be a couch, that I also have. I also found the reason for no hot water. There is no gas meter, so no gas for the hot water heater. I'm going to have my mom call PG&E tomorrow. I also need to call and get cable hooked up. I did some other work around the house and things like that.

I was thinking of blogging last week. Maybe I should have. Something was bugging me at work. Early last week, so I tried to stay away from people. Maybe if I blog it out here, people can understand why. As y'alls know, I tried to take a few hours off a week. Before lunch, after lunch, end of the day. Something like that. Well, my boss said nope. Ok fine what ever. I got to thinking about it Tuesday or Wed. morning. One of the supervisors, we'll call him Prof. X, comes in about an hour to an hour and a half late about 4 days a week. This was oked by the boss. I can't see his reason being any more important than mine. X has got to miss about 5 hours a week...I wanted 3. He misses pad days, witch is the whole reason for us coming in early twice a week....he misses it! I asked one of the other mini bosses, I'll call him Ekim. He said couldn't understand why X gets the time off and I didn't. Even asked eSteve, same answer. So what is one to do? Since I've dropped my math class, it hasn't been bugging me that much. Just the fact X got the time off and I didn't. I can' always quit.

Oh well. At least everyone should be up to date by now.

Fresno state vs Oregon State

I'm going to the game. Just a little update.

Umm have fun. Be safe. Play nice.

I need to take a shower and go.

Dropping math

ZOMG can it be true?! Yes, it is. I went in and talked to a counselor today at lunch. There is just no point going to a class that there is no way I'm going to get a B in. So I'm just going to stick with the W for now. But the thing is I am still going to go to the class, and learn what ever my gray matter takes in. Then I'm going to start over with my times tables 1-10 :)

I don't know how some people can work 2 jobs and still take classes. Well I guess those people don't spend over an hour a day just driving to work and back. So I'm freaking tired and should get a good night sleep.

My dumb cat, really messed up my mini blinds in my room. He was trapped in my room all day. I bet he just loved that. Well I think he thought that if he moved the blinds out of the way, he could get out. Ha! Was he wrong or what. Oh, and I put tin foil on my kitchen window. I have the mini blind to install, just haven't do so yet. Cause I dun wanna! I kinda like the tweaker look if you ask me :)

Chucky, over and out

Been awhile

I do have things I want to blog about. I just haven't. I was going to e-mail that chicka, but didn't. I do need to put my clothes in the dryer....brb.Ok Now that I got that out of the way.

Eh, I guess I'll just start typing away like I've done oh so many times.

Well I kinda got my self moved in this weekend. Well, I got my bed and some clothes here. Everything else is about 20 feet away. Oh and right now I got two cats, but one is looking for a way out. Fair enough. Crazy cats.

Other than that. Maybe my cat is high on something.

I'm going to stick with my school, not matter what happens. I plan on starting all over with my math. Even if that does set me back 2 or so years. So, that's been easier since I came to that. Now I'm not worried about not passing my pre calc class, something that never is going to happen. I even asked my boss if I could some time off work to go to math lab and get some extra help. Well, he said no. Keep in mind that I work 47 hours a week and was only asking for 3 hours a week off. That's still 44 hours a week. Still more than enough for a full time job, but he was talking like it would make me a part timer. So the way that I see it is like this, if I would be able to pass my class with a B with the added help of the math labs I would have to quit. Then that leaves him with a new temp to work with.

well blah and I'm going to bed.

What to do?

Some where between trying not to think about something, and having it consume my mind I forgot to make it to an appointment today. I didn't even think of telling my co-worker to go to it. Didn't write it down, my fault. I was even the one that told her I'd be able to make it. Now, did I know I was going to have to drive up to Merced (60+ miles one way) at 1 o'clock? Nope. Mind you I told her I was going to be there between 1:30-2. So I got a call from the apartment chicka at work asking me where I was. All I could say was, "yup, I forgot. My fault." Did I care, not really. It wasn't cool to waste her time, but at the same time I wasn't worried about work doing anything to me. 'Cause for some reason, I don't seem to care what work does to me. And not caring is a sucky feeling. But when they give employ of the month to people who are late more times than they are on time...Just what does that say about them (everyone)?

So back to my question:

Do I go for the degree I've wanted since I was 14 or do I forget about it (maybe for now...Maybe forever) and pick a new career path?

One thing for sure is that I'm not going to be able to stay where I'm working for ever. There just isn't any place to move up to. Unless they grow bigger, but I don't see that much growth coming.

Do I want to become a welder again? I don't know. It just sucks having to make this choice. I've wanted to be a civil engineer for sooooo long, it's so hard to say no to it. Underwater welding would be cool. If I do that for 10, maybe 15, years then what? Then would I go back to school again?

I already know there is no way I'm passing this class. It's just to hard. That and I don't remember enough of the simple math to do all of the hard math.

oh well it's 10 o'clock. I'm off to bed.