What to do?

Some where between trying not to think about something, and having it consume my mind I forgot to make it to an appointment today. I didn't even think of telling my co-worker to go to it. Didn't write it down, my fault. I was even the one that told her I'd be able to make it. Now, did I know I was going to have to drive up to Merced (60+ miles one way) at 1 o'clock? Nope. Mind you I told her I was going to be there between 1:30-2. So I got a call from the apartment chicka at work asking me where I was. All I could say was, "yup, I forgot. My fault." Did I care, not really. It wasn't cool to waste her time, but at the same time I wasn't worried about work doing anything to me. 'Cause for some reason, I don't seem to care what work does to me. And not caring is a sucky feeling. But when they give employ of the month to people who are late more times than they are on time...Just what does that say about them (everyone)?

So back to my question:

Do I go for the degree I've wanted since I was 14 or do I forget about it (maybe for now...Maybe forever) and pick a new career path?

One thing for sure is that I'm not going to be able to stay where I'm working for ever. There just isn't any place to move up to. Unless they grow bigger, but I don't see that much growth coming.

Do I want to become a welder again? I don't know. It just sucks having to make this choice. I've wanted to be a civil engineer for sooooo long, it's so hard to say no to it. Underwater welding would be cool. If I do that for 10, maybe 15, years then what? Then would I go back to school again?

I already know there is no way I'm passing this class. It's just to hard. That and I don't remember enough of the simple math to do all of the hard math.

oh well it's 10 o'clock. I'm off to bed.