I wish I could tell you

I wish I could tell you how smart you are.
How funny you are
how I love your simle
your laugh.
I wish I could just tell you "hi".
Or how much better I am making my life now
How I am turning my life around
how sorry I am that I hurt you
How much it hurts that I lost your trust.

I just want to tell you.
How I want to hold you.
How nice it was to be able to come home to you.
I still think of you everyday. I'm sure you think of me too, I just don't know how good the thoughts are.
I wish I had made the right choice.
I just want to be able to talk like two adults.
I understand the pain I have caused.
I wish you could read this.
I wish I had your support.
I hope you will reply to my last e-mail.
A part of me knows your will not.I never thought I would hurt this much.
Losing you hurts more than giving up this addiction.
I wish I would have known that sooner.
I hope you don't blame your self.
I know you tried to talk to me. I was scared.
I as scared like ending up like my brother.
You are a good person. I was stupid for thinking that.
I am learning so much about me. I wish you could see that.
I wish I had you.

Maybe I should just name this blog "I want you back" ;)
well at least I can still smile.
I hope you can trust me again.