A little oops

This morning I was working real hard. In doing so I was hanging out in the warehouse (Where house? There house!) We were talking about Josie and about people just fucking up their jobs. That is when we came to the conclusion that if you were to fuck up, might as well just man up to it.

...a little later that afternoon...

I was installing some blinds in a new home. They were left out for one reason or another. So there I was. Taking my time not to take too much time ;). Put the boxes by the windows. Opened up the box and started installing the hardware. Simple enough right. Oh wait...I got the ladder and opened that up next to the window. Then I installed the hardware.

So there I was installing the hardware... just kidding.

I get off the ladder to move it to the other side. That's when I see....IT. You know the IT you don't like to see. You know that little "this is not a step" thingy for a paint bucket or a drill or even a place for you shoe while you stand on it to reach a few more inches so you don't have to move the ladder and do the job right. yeah...that one. Well I guess it was too close to the window sill and might have just knocked some of the plaster junk off so there was a 3 inch wide by about 5/16 of an inch tall. That area was just metal no paint or anything. That was all on the carpet.

At first I thought about just cleaning up and walkin' away and leave it for someone else. hey! I'm only human. Then I thought about it. The superintendent has already walked the house. He knows that we have to come out and get the job done. He knows that wasn't there before.

So I called my window covering supervisor. Ya know...Professor X. And that convo went a little something like this:

"Hey man, I made a little oops."
"what happened?"
"well, I knocked some of the plaster drywall stuff off the window sill area"
"you mean on the frame area?"
"yeah"
"Well, maybe you should leave the blind on the floor so they can fix it."
"No, it's on the bottom. They can lift it up to fix it."
"Oh. Well thanks for telling me...We didn't see anything."
"Roger that..."


Holy fuck, we didn't see anything? He didn't ask how big of an area or anything. Just we didn't see it?! That's fucking crazy. It's not like I broke a ceramic tile while nailing down some tact strip. Or crack that SAME tile twice by two different people after it was fixed the first time.

This is just a simple retexture and paint. Simple.

It just tossed me for a loop...we didn't see anything. What an idiot.


oh on other news. I got a cat brush. You know for my cat.

What to blog?

Well I don't really have anything on my mind to blog about. Got some lame lil things, but what fun is that?

Or I could just say that two months from tomorrow I'll be driving down to long beach. Ok, now that thought did keep a smile on my face for a good part of the day. I just hope that the boss man is on top of giving me my one year review. If he is, that means I should get it the day before I quit! wo0t!

It'll go a little something like this:

"Now here umm Josh umm well you did an ok job....well umm...ahhh....umm....then I think I had to give you the PIMP smack a time or two to ummm (lol I said too toooooo) keep you in ummmmmmm track...."

Well that's how I picture it going anyways!

Oh! I need ice cream!

I can't even find anything fun to do right now. I am just sitting here bored out of my mind. Oh I could always watch some porn :o

Now, what fun would that be? I might go blind after all.

It also hasn't been much fun playing my game right now.

Sleep

I dunno wanna!

If I go to sleep. That just means that I'll have to go to work sooner!

Oh yeah. 2 more freaking months! That's it. Eight weeks. Four pay days. I can't wait! And there still is so much I have to get in order for my school.

but I guess I should get some sleep.

Pictures or it doesn't count!

Ok so I was going through some old paper work I have had in a box for a long ass time. Well just about 2 years I would guess. I found some pictures. Some pictures that my mom sent to me when I first got to my base.

This picture was taken in Gulfport, Mississippi. In the summer of 2002. I can't remember what part of the Tech school I was in, but that is where I was at. It is also one of the few pictures that I have of me in uniform.

I just wanted to share this with y'all.

Suicidal thoughts

No, I don't have any of those. But, I'd be a liar if I said I never did. I think most people get to that point sometime in their life. Where they think how much easier it would be if they just ended it now. To make all their pain go away. To have the choice of how to do it. Will your friends remember you? Parents?

Ok , so this is getting a little dark.

I do have a point, kinda, with all this. It is almost a part 2 of My Story.

So while I was going around and around with my 1st Sergeant. There was this other lady, about a week behind me in the whole getting out of the military deal. We've talked in the hall way. She also stayed in the same dorms as my self. She was an odd little cookie, not sure what she did though that got her to that point. Anyways.

A few weeks after I got out of the military, maybe it was months. I called a buddy of mine at the shop I used to work in. Well, we talk about what has been going on. Where I'm working at now. Things like that. Well I come to find out that she drove her car off a bridge or something. What ever it was, I guess she couldn't take it anymore. Thought she had no place to go. Who knows. She ended it all.

I on the other hand. Think I am a much stronger person for going through what I did. If that didn't bring me down, well ok it did. What I'm getting at, I'm still here. And one way or another I am going to make something of my self. Military or not.

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Which 80's Movie Character Are you?

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My Story.

Story Time.

This story is going to skip a lot of the well...story. I'm going right to the end. This story took place over 12 months, you got the last week or so. Oh yeah, this all took place while I was in the Military.


The date: Feb / Mar 2005

I don't really know how to put all of this out here on this screen. It is a story about my character.
I can still remember the 3 worst days in my life. They were bad ones. two were planned one wasn't.

Starting this start with out the background is hard. I want people to be able to understand, but I don't think it's going to come across that well.

It is Super Bowl Sunday 2005. That is the first day back on base for about 4 months. I remember not being able to find my ID card, so we had to stop and get me a pass. I did find it later on when I got to my dorm room and emptied out my bags o' junk. It did feel good to be back, even if it wasn't my room. By this time my truck ('03 green S-10) was back here in Cali.

Anyways, later on that day I went down to the e-club to watch the game at the lil super bowl party they had going on. I had some beer. Called some friends, told them why I seemed to have fallen off the face of this planet. That was fun.

They didn't have me go back to work with my shop. To this day I still don't understand the reason for that. But, whatever. I liked what they had me doing better. I had time to eat breakfast, walk to work in the rain (I didn't mind at all), and drive around in one of those 4 x 6 Gator thingys. Now that was fun. Driving across the grass, in the mud, and just messing around during the day.

So it comes down to one person. One person with my career in his hands. That person would be the 4th Fighter Wing commander Col. Mike Holmes. Yes, a wing commander. The highest ranking person on base. In charge of almost 100 F-15s. Me. And everything else on base. He was the person that my job, dream (funny how people have used that word to me in the past few days.), plan, life, and just everything I wanted (or so I thought) to be.

That's a lot of power that one person has over me. But that is why he makes the big bucks and I don't.

I do have a right to send a package up telling him why I think I should stay in. Well fuck, this is MY life. I don't want some package to tell everything I want. I want to be there, I want to tell him face to face, I have no right to that. That's right folks, this is lil or E-nothing me wanting to go up face to face with the O-7 (I think) Wing Commander. How's that for a tall order.

First I talked to my 1st sergeant (that link will tell you about what a 1st Sergeant is). Who told me I should ask the defence people. I called, the paralegal chica said it can't be done. That it was in the Air Force instruction (AFI). Well humm...It can't be done, eh. So I called the 1st Sergeant back. I told him that I want to do it.

Heck, the defence people just give advice, that's the way I seen it. So, I took it and did my own thing with it. I filed it away in a filing cabinet. Light that filing cabinet on fire. Then I pushed it off a huge fucking cliff! That was all she wrote.

Now keep in mind he could easily just say "yeah you know what....nu uh" to me. As I got nothing giving me the right to a face to face meeting.

Funny thing is. My 1st Sergeant who was in for 22 years or so has never seen anyone ask, let alone do, anything like I am asking. And I'm doing it with such passion, such desire. That if anyone was going to beat the odds, it was going to fucking be me!

Well I don't just get to go up to the base commander and say "yo..what's up hommie..." First step it to talk to the Command chief Master Sergeant (more info here). That is the highest ranking enlisted person on base. You could call him the Commanders right hand man type of deal.

So I got the date and time to talk to he Chief. Holy cow, talk about freaking out. I'm about to do something that just about no body does. Walking back and forth. Making sure my uniform was just perfect, no strings hanging or anything. I even got an index card of the things I want to make sure I say. I remember waiting int he hall way out side of his office. Waiting to be called in. Just breathing. Not knowing what was going to come out of it. Not knowing what he was going to say. So many unknowns.

(damn I'm getting tried of typing this book now...)

So that meeting goes well. I say my story, then he replies with what he things. I can't really remember what all he, or I, said. But it did end good, or so I thought. He said something if having only a little hope could be a bad thing. There was a 99.9% chance of this thing going as planned no matter what I say or do. So I was reaching for anything and everything.

So yeah, I was having to sell my self. Sell who I was and who I wasn't. show to them that I was more than what I was on paper.

(ha, I still need to do my taxes)

Well as some point in time the Chief and Commander have their little meeting.

Well he is going to see me! Holy cow! That is just an unreal feeling. I get the chance to do what I've been wanting to do. I get so talk face to face to the wing commander. Talk about having some big balls ;)

Ok, so that feeling that I had to talk with the Chief. Yeah that was nothing compared to what I was going through now.

So I get to talk to him. I first meet up with the Chief, his office is just down the hall. He tells me what I need to know, what I need to do.

I go in the Commanders office. "Sir, Airman B. reports..." Now this is the formal military shit you see on TV. Well, more or less. This is the only time I salute indoors.

Well I got my meeting. The chance to say my peace, I guess you could say. I guess I made him think about it. It did take, what seemed like, forever to get back with an answer. That answer was...

I remember that phone call very well. March 26,2005. I was in my shop. I remember what I said to my shop NCO and the others around. Who were of course behind me in all this. "that's it, I'm out."





I had three days to get out of the military.


March 29, 2005. I got my last meal (well going away lunch), then changed clothes and left for the airport. I remember that drive so well. What we talked about. Just looking at everything alone the freeway for one last time.

Sooooo Tired

I get home from work. Take my shoes off. Then nothing. I got a friend I need to call about plans this weekendish. It is just no fun to talk on the phone while trying to keep my eyes open. No point in taking a nap, 'cause I willn't (hey, I can type that if I wanna :P ) be able to sleep tonight.

Heck, I get home around 5:40 if I don't stop any place. Never mind the fact that I had to leave my house at 5:20am. So, that leaves me with 4 or 5 hours to do everything that I want to and still get some zonin' out time in.

Heck, I'll be working 12 hours shifts as a diver. But, there I'll be living on a boat or so. No place to go. No place to spend my money.

Keep on moving.

Nothing to see here.

I kind of want to blog but don't know about what.

Kind of want to blog about my El camino but at the same time, I'll have lots of time to do that.

I'm not in a bad mood or anything. Not really even in a mood. Is there an anti-mood?

Well I guess I'm going to eat some chips and dip then get my game on.

March 29th, 2007

On that day it will be two years since I got out of the Air Force. So, with that going on in my head I've been wanting to blog. I have also been looking for reasons to not blog.

There is a story that I want to post here. At the same time, I don't want to. I guess it's hard to understand.

It's a story that doesn't really end well. It gets way to close to...well me. I got friends that don't even know that much about me.So I don't know. Maybe I'll just blog about blogging about it. That might just get it out of my system.

I just don't know. two years is a long time. At the same time it goes by in the blink of a eye.

Today I had to call the tow truck out two times for my El Camino. So it just wasn't my day. The first time was because I locked the keys in, well about a month ago I did. I just now went down to my Grammy's to take it for a drive. The weather outside was just great!

So, he gets the keys out. It doesn't take him 5 min to open the door. Nice having the right tools. So I start it up for the driver, he asked if I could. We talked about it some. I chill at my grammy's for awhile, then take off. Well, I get on the freeway, and something just doesn't feel right. This is about 15-20 miles into my 45 mile drive back home.

I get off the freeway and at the first stop light, my car dies. That's never good. Oh yeah, and it wouldn't start back up. Super Duper! So I was just waiting for someone to see the green light, but not see me. Then run right into me. I've seen that happen before. Lets fast forward some. So get a tow back home, 16 miles. It cost $89 but I shall be reimbursed via my insurance.

Maybe it's just the amount of money I've been putting out these past two weeks. I bet that has something to do with being bummed out.

Damn, I've changed so much just in the past year (I went to re-read some posts from March 2006). I hope it for the better. I guess it's a good thing I wasn't posting in March 2005, I don't think those would have to be read by adults only. I still remember that day. The trip the the air port. The lunch. Saying Good bye. All of it. I don't want to forget it, but it also doesn't bring that warm fuzzy feeling.